Not since 1999 has this lovely lady (from Germany who married an aquatic mammal) sported the paint on her naked canvas which was that now infamous first issue where SI introduced the great bodypainting feature. Nearly 10 years later, she does it again but this time it’s a married post-baby version of herself. So of course, she’s disgusting. As in, disgustingly hot. That sounds stupid… but so am I because Heidi did do the bodypaint thing again just a few years ago in 2006. So really, there was no point in anything I just said. (Oh, we’ve thrown in a Spanish celeb who is also sporting an illustration.)
Like most fashion editorial, it’s hard to pinpoint what message or opinion is being made. Takee this editorial featuring one very naked and wet Canadian supermodel Daria Werbowy with a male model whose name wasn’t mentioned for some odd reason. Is it a statement about the polluting of coastal regions with unnecessary beauty products? Or is it about the… wait, that last one was kind of good. Yeah, let’s go with that. Nice.
Oh, heck. Since we’re on this little supermodel tear, let’s see what other freakishly pretty people pictures are lying around here… oh, here’s some Adriana Lima (bigger and better than last time) along with Alessandra Ambrosio, James King, Marisa Miller, Miranda Kerr, Paulina Porizkova, Petra Nemcova, Rianne TenHaken and Stephanie Seymour.
Oh my. I went and played with some words. I took the already played on word “stalkarazzi” and then one upped it and added gawk to create a whole brand new word. Wow. I really am amazing. Almost as amazing as all the other tabloid writers who play with their words all day long. So with that, here are some gawked celebrities including some great shots (great as in a clear violation of one’s privacy) of Brit pinup Keeley Hazell. Plus, some other celebs caught by the gawkarazzi. Hello, Merriam-Webster?
Hot actress Vanessa Ferlio in On_Line (2002) (her first film) and Undefeated (2003). Best known as Detective Aiden Burn in CSI: NY and actually appeared earlier on CSI Miami.
A list made by the British folk who obviously have a biased for their own native ladies, which is fine, but their mistake in this list is putting Jennifer Ellison in this gathering of naturally made lady persons. Anyone who doesn’t have a life, and that pretty much counts all of you (me too) knows that Jennifer has had some help with her curvy shape. So other than that, not a bad list... for a list.
Pull up a seat because these ladies have... oh god. What have I reduced myself too? A cheap lounge act host who does lame blue schtick catering to Senior bus tours in Atlantic City? Just proceed on to the gathering of South American models whose rears are worth a view... and ignore me.
Making The Database More Factual-ish (Members Bonus)
The data in the Babes of Babylon base is of the visual nature. In order to make sure this base of data is accurate and complete, we must fill it up with every once in a while with more data that’s sitting around not informing you the viewer who is how much naked. So with that, we bring you a shwack of data to keep you and future visitors in the know.
Disparate Housewives Teri Hatcher in Heaven's Prisoners (1996), Teri Copley in Down the Drain (1990) and I Married a Centerfold (1984), ex bunny Teri Harrison in Snuff-Movie (2005), West Wings Teri Polo in Quick (1993), another ex bunny Teri Weigel
How about a calendar that no longer clogs up your brain with the minor details of the names of the scantily clad women who sit upon your days of the week grid? Ya? Ok. Here you go...
Some times we like to have our clothes placed on female people who then walk back and fourth on a platform in front of us. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? Yet, we do it. The ladies humouring us with this nonsense are Adriana Lima, Angela Lindvall, Candice Swanepoel, Claudia Michels, Dewi Driegen, Haylynn Cohen, Izabel Goulart, Jessica Cirio, Jose Miro, Jovita Miscevute, Karolina Kurkova, Nicole Richie, Rocio Guirao-Diaz, Romina Lanaro and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.
Italian actress Brigitta Boccoli partaking in some under water antics, British pinup model Malene Espensen doing the predictable striptease that always seems to end the same way, Greek model Olga Farmaki and naked Argentinean person Zahyra Amat.
For those of you who just found out about Marilyn Monroe’s last photo shoot for the first because of Lindsay Lohan’s recent nude appearance in New York magazine, please educate yourself with some history and take a look at this huge collection from the original shoot that’s unfortunately being known thanks to Lindsay. Marilyn was long dead when I was born too but I can’t remember not knowing about her or these photos. I just don’t understand this current phenomenon of younger people not knowing significant pop culture references that took place before 1980 seeing that current pop culture runs their lives. You’d think their hunger for it would propel them to learn old pop culture too. You’d think it’d at least seep in somehow. So if you just heard some of your first Beatles’ songs recently thanks to some terrible cover performances on American Idol, then there is no hope for you.
Not Marilyn Monroe, the short nudie film "The Apple knockers and the Coke" in which appears Arline Hunter, where she sensuously rolls an apple and a bottle over her bare breasts. Found a bit of info at IMDb for the film 'Faces of Torture (1988)'.
It’s pretty universally agreed that Adriana Lima is attractive if not stunning. So a simple handful of new (strategically) nude photos of the Brazilian supermodel should please anyone and everyone.
Somehow swimwear is not the first thing that comes to mind when I see this collection of photos. It’s hard to tell if they’re using the girls to sell bikinis or if they are using the bikinis to sell us the girls. Somehow I have a hard time believing more bikinis have been sold due this spread...
New Jennifer Aniston Bum Fun (Members Bonus)
The former Friend has made her rear appear for the masses once again. Not on purpose mind you... but there we have it. On the interweb and everything. Other derrieres (and boobieres) include Melanie Brown, Alessia Merz, Penny Lancaster, Kate Hudson, Laura Torrisi and Jodie Marsh.
Brit Olivia D'Abo has been in near 70 productions. Dated Julian Lennon. Sings with Jon Bon Jovi. Hot as well. Bo Derek was not the only one in Bolero (though it seemed that way). She played Jane in TV's Tarzan though Bo played in the big screen version.
For those who never watched Sex & The City, Charlotte was easily the most uptight of the four ladies and yet, the hottest. That seems to happen in real life too. However, there’s this phenomenon where seemingly conservative women (it happens with men too) who have this prudish act for the public but behind closed doors, kink it up with the best of them. So of course, it’s Charlotte that has the leaked sex photos. The debate has been on whether these (very) amateur photos are indeed Kristin Davis but just recently, someone put together a comparison chart of other photos of Kristin which makes the case for the photos being authentic pretty solid. Or course, everyone was saying there was a “sex tape” because that’s the trendy sound bite that everyone salivates to. However, more calm folks have made it clear that it’s just photos which were leaked. No video. We warn all those who haven’t seen a vagina up-close and feel it may forever destroy their innocent hearts, don’t proceed. If you’re a person living in the real world who’s afflicted with a sick curiosity which we all share, then take a look-see and be your own judge and jury. Then go out and read some real world news to balance out your brain
Can the image of a woman in her underwear still conjure up an innocent blush like the days or old? Or are we so desensitized from the instant availability of in-your-face (or any other region you prefer) hardcore porn that a lady in her undies is too conservative or passé to bat an eye at? If that’s so, let’s just go home now. If not, get ready for a serious blush-session followed by a few tee-hees. Tee-hees? What are we? 4 year-old little giiiirls?
“Zharick Leon went to Miami and got casted in a role as "Rosario Montes" in the famous Colombian soap opera "Passion of Gavilanes". And it was this where she dazzled the crowd with her beauty and talent.”
Awesome. She’s a crowd dazzler. I thought I was the only one. Damn her. Oh heck, how can I be mad at Zharick? She has beauty and talent that dazzles.
Spain’s Natalia Paris, Italy’s Ornella Muti, Hungary’s Orsolya Kocsis, Italy’s Pamela Prati and Sabrina Salerno, Greece’s Sasha Basta, Italys Serena Grandi and Stefania Sandrelli, Argentina’s Valeria DeGenaro, Cuba’s Vida Guerra and Russia’s Zhanna Friske.
The UK has been an ample source of pinup models for the last handful of years and we continue to milk it by keeping you abreast of the latest Brit pinup appearances to tit the net... boob. (Features: Bianca Gascoigne, Charlotte McKenna, Danielle Lloyd, Danni Wells, Gemma Bissix, Holly McGuire, Imogen Gray, Jakki Degg, Jennifer Ellison, Katie Downes, Kayleigh Pearson, Keeley Hazell, Lindsey-Anne Strutt, Louise Cliffe, Lucy Clarkson, Lucy Pinder, Malene Espensen, Natasha Marley, Nikkala Stott, Rhian Sugden, Sammie Pennington, Seren Gibson, Zoe Stollery.)
They come from lands we don’t understand. Their ways are mysterious. Their foreignness is foreign. They are England’s Abigal Clancy, Italy’s Aida Yespica and Asia Argento, Mexico’s Aylin Mujica, Turkey’s Didem Erol, Germany’s Florentine Lahme, Mexico’s Gabriela Spanic, Sweden’s Isabel Edvardsson, Argentina’s Isabel Macedo, Germany’s Jennifer Wanderer, Poland’s Joanna Krupa, Britain’s Katie Hart, South America’s Maribel Fernandez and Melina Pitra, Italy’s Monica Bellucci, Ukraine’s Olga Kurylenko, UK’s Sophie Howard, Italy’s Violante Placido and Argentina’s Zaira Nara.
Gravity and Private Parts Still at Odds (Members Bonus)
The Earth’s pull continues to yank on the poorly constructed designer outfits of the famous to reveal their naughty bits such as the US banned region known as the nipple. In a related story, the natural phenomenon known as light has been spot penetrating the translucence clothing of celebrities who couldn’t be bothered to wear under garments. Obsessive celeb gawkers rejoice. The rest of the world shakes their heads at the silliness... after taking a quick peek. Aisleyne Horgan, Alexa Davalos, Alice Caligiuri, Amy Smart, Anne V, Bijou Phillips, Daryl Hannah, Davorka Tovilo, Elisabetta Gregoraci, Emily Watson, Hilary Swank, Jakki Degg, Jemima Khan, Jennifer Gimenez, Jodie Marsh, Kate Beckinsale, Katie Price, Lilly Allen, Linda Fiorentino, Maria-Conchita Alonso, Meagan Good, Michelle Heaton, Orlaith McAllister, Patsy Kensit, Paz Vega, Pheobe Price, Sara Varone, Serena Williams, Victoria Zdrok.
Some actress' from TV's popular 'Deadwood'. Ashleigh Kizer, Cynthia Ettinger, Izabella Miko, Paula Malcolmson, Paula Malcomson, Robin Weigert, Sarah Lund, Sarah Paulson.
The fashion models and their super versions are used much like a musical jingle in a commercial. They’re there to hit the pleasure sensors of the brain to get your attention. It must work because they keep using this ploy but any ad I’ve seen using scantily clad models never manage to tell me on a conscious or unconscious level what the hell kind of product they’re actually selling. So let’s see if these marketing geniuses are right and take a look at these supermodels and see if you end up buying some headache inducing perfume or some designer clothing item that makes you cool the moment you put it on. However, no matter how useless the shit their selling is, the photography can be pretty cool and rather sexy at times.
The latest batch of celebrities wearing little to no bikini attire which in many cases seem to be somewhat staged for the creepy crawling paparazzi in order to perpetuate their symbiotic relationship. (Featuring: Italy’s Alessandra Pierelli, French pop-singer Alizee , Brit pinup Anna Taverner, Canuck annoyance Avril Lavigne, Big Brother UK’s Charley Uchea, pinup models Claire Andrisani and Danielle Lloyd, Aussie actress Delta Goodrem, Brit model Gemma Atkinson, House actress Jennifer Morrison, pop-singer Jenny Frost, actress Kate Hudson, pinup Kayleigh Pearson, infamously large reared Kim Kardashian, actress Kirsty Gallacher, music destroying with real pipes Mariah Carey, French TV host Melissa Theuriau, actress Mischa Barton, Brit pinups Natalie Oxley and Natasha Mealey, pop-singer Pink, yet another pinup Sammy Braddy and finally, actress Sienna Miller.)
Whether we’re killing each other because our God is better than theirs or we’re poisoning our environment to the brink of our own extinction, we have an uncanny ability to ignore our own annihilation when we see girl boobie. So here is some female nudity of the slightly famous-kind. Not to distract but to relieve the stress that our own ignorance has caused us. Shit, this way too soap-boxy for a naked lady website. (We’ve been sick with the flu and our brain is still coasting on fumes.) Ignore us. Just look at the bums and boobies. Plant a tree. Stay in school. Do drugs.
Note: The last update was a complete mishap. The wrong pictures went with the wrong article, etc. upon etc.. Sorry for that. Out-sourcing out of rural Alberta seemed like a sure-fire winner, but alas... Nonetheless, we will be back to our normal soon...
Well, that’s a rather vulgar thing to say and frankly, unnecessary. As for the tea cup placed in front of Anabel’s vagina, that was quite necessary. Like many of the South American nudie models, they like to keep the vagina hidden. Probably because of the tea stains. Oh, the vulgar D-Man. I mean, really.
On many photo shoots, there will be some extra cameras on set to document the production itself. This is usually done on purpose and with the permission of every one on set in order to create a whole shwack of sub-products like desk calendars, documentaries, TV specials, extra magazine spreads, books, etc., etc., and etc.. While other times, these extra cameras are NOT invited to the set. These cameras are often in the hands of a pesky paparazzo lurking in the bushes hoping to get the first glimpse of something like the upcoming Pirelli calendar or SI swimsuit issue. These of course are usually of a terrible quality but perfect for low quality publications known as tabloids.
Does anybody really look at the date. Camila Morais, Francesca Intermite, Laura Torrisi, Sara Romoli, Sonia Marchitiello, Sylvi Bodi, Unknown , Various , Zoe Torinesi.
As if wrestling wasn’t a big enough freak show to begin with, now they’ve gone and put scantily clad ladies into the mixture. Female “wrestlers” like Candice Michelle, Stacy Keibler, and Torrie Wilson totally mess up the whole homo-erotic under-tones of the old WWF. How can we enjoy our sweaty man-boobed superstars rolling around on each other with all this bare lady-bum being flashed in our faces? I feel sorry for all the young wrestling fans forced to put up this.
Mags love their lists. No one is anybody unless they make a list. If you’re not on a list, you’re a failure of a human being. With that being said, let’s see who the British think are the non-nobodies with the best bodies. Please note: if you don’t find yourself on the following list of Best British Bodies, then you are nobody with what is probably a pretty mediocre body. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.
More Curvy Ones From The Old Country (Members Bonus)
To stop with the cynical sarcasmic rant, here are more British ladies who don’t need to make a list to qualify as a worth-while person. Oh, isn’t that sweet of me to say? (Features: Amii Grove, Amy Diamond, Amy Lu, Chanelle Hayes, Chantelle Houghton, Danielle Lloyd, Emma Frain, Gemma Bissix, Kitty Lea, Lucy Pinder, Malene Espensen, Melanie Boorman, Porchia , Rachael Tennant, Sammie Pennington, Sammy Braddy and Vikki Blows.)
As the beret is to France, the touque is to Canada, or the hand-gun is to the United States, the G-string is to Argentina. It seems every Argentinean man, woman and child wears one. However, due to personal taste and something called laws, we will focus on the courageous women who wear these coin slot coverings. (Featured Argentineans: Agustina Attias, Alejandra Maglietti, Barbara Attias, Claudia Albertario, Claudia Ciardone, Dallys Ferreira, Dominique Pestana, Elisa Savaj, Evangelina Anderson, Jenny Williams, Jessica Cirio, Lizfanny Emiliano, Luciana Bianchi, Lucila Vitt, Lucila Vit, Luli Fernandez, Mariana Diarco, Marianela Mirra, Mariela Montero, Melina Pitra, Noelia Falco, Rocio Guirao-Diaz, Romanella Amato, Romina Giovagnoli, Samanta Cheroni and Ximena Capristo.)
Even though this update doesn’t land right on March 5th, and the fact that the slight reference to the Mexican holiday of Cinco de Mayo really has nothing to do with Argentina, we’re going to feature an Argentinean celebrity here anyway. We like to think of our ability to lump distinctly different Latin cultures together as rebellious rather than, say, racist or ignorant. Actually, it’s none of those things. We’re just lazy and couldn’t find anything else to say about Evangelina Anderson and how she’s pretty much naked in this cool little pictorial...
Just for the heck of it, here’s a classic photo shoot (this time in HQ) featuring one of those super-uber models Gisele Bundchen by celeb photogger David La Chapelle. Despite his work being some of the most contrived eye-candy photography out there, it still manages to go so out-of-bounds with whacked-out ideas; it avoids a smelly cheesiness and maintains a sweet tasting edginess. (What the hell did I just say?) Plus, how can you not crack a smile whenever David La Chapelle says, “I’m Rick James bitch!” or are we mixing up our Chapelle’s again?
Britain’s Amii Grove, supermodel Anouck Lepere, Italian actress Asia Argento, South American Belen Francese, Oscar winning screen writer Diablo Cody, Lost’s Evangeline Lilly, actress Eva Mendes, UK’s Gemma Atkinson and Jennifer Ellison, The Lost World’s Jennifer O'Dell, Germany’s Next Top Model contestant Jennifer Wanderer, Jessica Alba, South America’s Julieta Prandi, Victoria’s Secret supermodel Karolina Kurkova, England’s Keeley Hazell, actress Keira Knightley, Terminator 3’s Kristanna Loken, actress Laura Harring, oh, that Lindsay Lohan, Brit booby models Lindsey-Anne Strutt and Lucy Pinder, Oscar winning Marion Cotillard, Cuban Mayra Veronica, Italian Melita Toniolo, The L Word’s Mia Kirshner, European actress Moran Atias, actress Natassia Malthe, Las Vegas’ Nikki Cox, actress Robin Tunney, the lovely Salma Hayek, the highly overrated in every way Scarlett Johansson (go ahead, light the torches), actress Shannyn Sossamon, Portuguese singer Sofia Ribeiro, model Sofia Zamolo and TV’s cute little Terminator Summer Glau.
Different Cultures Other Than My Own Are Weird (Members Bonus)
Let me rephrase that in a long drawn-out way so as to fill in this area with text: I am still unfamiliar with other cultures’ weirdnesses and the weirdness is only compacted when all I have is still pictures to judge them by. Take a gander at these photos of Argentinean (model? actress? stripper?) Jessica Cirio parading herself in front of a feeding frenzy of photographers out at some outdoor pool. I think our North American beauty pageants are weird. I think our wet t-shirt contests are weird. I think American Idol and all the other eye-candy filled reality shows on our North American boob-tubes are weird. But I’ve become used to them because I’ve been forced to. So when I see other country’s weird boob-n-ass gawk shows, the weirdness flows over the rim and I get scared. Scared because there’s something in me that won’t let me look away but take a gander too. Weird. (Features: Jessica Cirio doing a number of what we assume to be paying gigs which are all... wait for it... weird.)
Australian Jacqueline McKenzie, currently best known as a regular on TV's 4400, here in 'Romper Stomper (1992)', 'Angel Baby (1995)', and 'Human Touch (2004)'
