Match these countries to the right naked lady and you will receive a gold star: Spain, Spain, Spain, Spain, USA.

Janet Eilber in 'Whose Life Is It Anyway? (1981)'

In the real world, the majority or people’s underwear are not sexy. They usually serve a practical purpose that has nothing to do with attracting a mate. However, based on the ads we see for underwear, everyone looks ridiculously sexy in their undergarments which have nothing to do with practicality. They of course feature the genetically gifted models (and sometimes celebrities) to make the knickers they are selling look as if you were to buy these panties, you’ll look exactly like this. That almost never happens. Here are some mutants (whose powers are being good looking) sporting non-practical but sexy underoos...

Nearing 90 films and still hot, Brit Jane Seymour here in 'Wedding Crashers (2005)' and 'Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977)'

You probably can. British pinup model Jakki Degg has a fan base that we are guessing is more than 2 and less than 6 billions which give us good enough reason to take a moment to see why this tiny blond is so gosh darn popular.

Celebrities like to show up at various public events and get noticed and one of their weapons in the arsenals to get this attention is to wear something that ever-so-slightly which reveals their underneath. Some do it on purpose. Some do it by mistake. Either way, the paparazzi never fail to sniff out such opportunities and here is what they caught in their lenses often thanks to their powerful flashes...

Jennifer Tilley in 'Dancing at the Blue Iguana (2000)'

Ok, these are not THE fashionable four. It just sounded cool like “The Fantastic Four” which was not a cool movie by any means. Was that not a train-wreck of a sequel? Back to the fashion models who are Anna Krolicka of Poland, Inguna Butane of Latvia, American Kemp Muhl and Spain’s Vanessa Lorenzo who may be the more well known of the bunch here because of her appearances in the infamous SI Swimsuit Issue.

Well known actress and activist Jane Fonda in 'Coming Home (1978)', 'Barbarella (1968)' and 'Ronde, La (1964)'

It appears the British really have invented a new breed of celebrity. It’s the reality TV star slash boobie model. Other countries are quickly doing the same. It seems both jobs have the same requirements: mildly attractive, willing to be naked and not minding the fact that your career is going to last more than 15 minutes. Here is one these new hybrid celebrities, Britain’s Malene Espensen.

We once thought beauty pageants were on their way with the dinosaurs, racism and sexism and just go away because their time was over. Unfortunately, like racism and sexism, beauty pageants are still with us today. In fact, they seem to be on the rise starting about 10 years ago. They seem to have a “Miss” for everything from countries to tires to canned goods. If it means they can get a pretty girl to prance around like pure bred dog in a bikini, then they will come up with a contest to crown them Miss Whatever. We’d take the dinosaurs back if this is the best we can come up with to celebrate women. Stupid dinosaurs. Oh, the Misses are Miss SomeCannedGood Jerri Byrne, Miss Full Monty Lucy Pinder. Miss Muretto Melissa Satta. Miss Hungry Breakfast Michelle Marsh. The 2003 Miss Chica Man Spain / 2005 Miss Roberta, Girl of the Year, Italy / 2006 Miss Fashion TV, Greece Natalia Bush. Former Miss Wales Sophia Cahill and 2 former Miss Belgiums Tanja Dexters and Veronique de Kock.

Julian Wells in 'Bite Me! (2004)' and 'Young and Seductive (2004) (TV)'

Among the most recent celebrity victims to be forced to wear skimpy bikinis because of global warming is the sometimes ditzy and tomboyish but other times the smarter than we expected and of course, drop-dead sexy Cameron Diaz. There’s a mouthful. (The sentence, not her. Well, she is but we weren’t meaning that at that particular time.) Then there’s Hayden Panettiere who is apparently a big deal among the young Heroes nerds. We kid the nerds. We plan on sitting down to watch season one of Heroes before the fall because we hear it’s a big deal. We round out this bikini clad collection with a pair of British ladies, a pair of Hiltons and a South American supermodel who seems to have disappeared in the last while. Looks like the paparazzi found her and it also looks like she could and should still be modeling.

US President George W. Bush this week raised the terror alert to orange when he overheard one of his kitchen staff discussing what they recently saw on Telemondo. According to Bush, they kept mentioning how Iran was in Mexico and it would be a great day if Iran could finally break into America and blow us all away. When the kitchen staff was questioned about their obvious “terror” sounding conversation, they corrected the President by saying they were referring to Mexican actress Iran Castillo and how it’d be great to see her break into America and blow everybody away with her talent and beauty. Bush immediately called for the arrest of Iran for attacking the World Trade Center.

Our distaste and weakness for reality shows is largely the fault of these ladies who make the contrived and what seems like monotonous situations somewhat titillating. They are Aislyne Horgan and Emily Parr from Big Brother UK; Krystal Forscutt from Big Brother Australia; Lauren Pope from Tycoon; Lianne Dauban from Shipwrecked; Mari Cielo-Pajares from La Granja (Spain); Naomi Millbank from Shipwrecked; and very large HD photos of Orlaith McAllister who was on Big Brother UK.

Jill Clayburgh way back in 'An Unmarried Woman (1978)'

Julie Sell in her only film 'Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000 (1994)'

Wafer thin is not a reality for most women (or men) and sure, we can appreciate (in only a teeny tiny way) that the fashion industry can chose to use thin models to advertise their “art” if that’s how they think their work is best presented. However, anyone with a right mind can look at that industry and laugh at all its freak-show glory that it is and not buy into the unrealistic fantasy. Not that these girls from South America represent the common woman either but they at least appear healthy and are actually closer to what the average heterosexual male desires. Isn’t that what models are supposed to be used for? To attract the male consumers? Christ, let’s not get into consumerism now or we’ll be here all day. Instead, let’s just turn off the brain for a while and enjoy these curvy imports from the American continent that is NOT obsessed with consumption... yet.

Jennifer Blanc in 'Dead Men Can't Dance (1997)' and 'Friends 'Til the End (1997)'

A South American who the Sun has been kind to; an Italian actress; a Spanish big Brother contestant; one of those British boobie models; a winner of America’s Next Top Model; an Oscar winning actress; Paul McCartney’s ex; an actress from Australia’s “Home and Away”; a Belgium supermodel; one of the most sought after behinds in sheer; a German actress; another one of the UK’s boobie models; another actress from Italy; the Queen of Pop in sheer; another dark haired beauty from Italy; a stunning supermodel; a stunning actress from “Transformers”; a knocked-up reality TV star or whatever she is; an Aussie in what can’t be a regulation bikini; if there was such a thing as perfection (which there is not) this supermodel painting breasts could just be that; a former “Six Feet Under” cast member in very revealing sheer; and ending with a model doing one of those cliché shoots with a snake but we’re not really complaining.

If you think this includes a real nude shot of Jessica Alba you are dreaming. A nipple peek plus some good strategic shots. Plenty of Jessica Collins, Jessica Harper and Jessica Lange.

Colombia’s Carolina “Pampita” Ardohain is not only too hot for the need to say anything that would contribute any more to this piece but it’s also the fact that we’re experiencing one of the few sweltering days of the year up in Canada. Our brains have turned to mush. So we’re just going to be silent today and enjoy the heat that is Pampita...

Downstairs Corrected It seems we’ve been having problems with our scripts lately and some pictures keep getting removed from our articles right before publication. The following images were meant to be part of the “Downstairs” features from the July 9th update. Here’s the more well-rounded story of Vida Guerra: "From the South (Cuba) is Vida Guerra who’s famous for asset (or assets depending how you look at it) downstairs and like other models with some modesty, apparently showing that itty-bitty portion downstairs where the lower back and the great divide meet is a no no. Yet, showing the entire hemispheres is just dandy."

With high definition TV and now these high quality (HQ) images of celebrities on the ‘net, there’s almost nothing these celebrities can hide. It’s crazy to think that 10 years ago, us old folks (born before 1980) had to browse the internet on our 800x600 screens of resolution where recognizing a nipple from a freckle was nearly impossible at times. (What a sad story.) Now, these images can be as large as 5000 pixels across and spotting a sweat gland hole on a nipple can be done from 10 feet away. Here are some very high rez celebrity photos for those into sweat gland holes.

Young and brash intern photo retoucher Kevin Wilder did what any wise person would do and noticed that there was no need to alter what is the near perfection of Brooke Burke. Too many times has Kevin found many of Brooke’s previous photos featuring what is clearly an exposed breast under sheer material to be nippleless rendering her alien-like. He also recently found untouched candid photos of Burke at a site called Babes of Babylon (visit it, it’s good) where she was prancing around in a white bikini and he couldn’t help but feel scared for his job seeing that Brooke looked better natural and untouched by Photoshop than most do all made-up. Luckily, he found work elsewhere by getting a very lucrative by labour intensive job being the official retoucher for Stacy Ferguson’s portrait photographer.

The models aren’t too shabby either. However, it’s amazing how the right photographer can make a pretty girl beautiful. It often doesn’t take a bunch of make-up or fancy clothes. In fact, some of the most stunning photos of models quite often don’t have any make-up or clothing involved at all. Take this great collection of some well known women and lesser known models captured by a talented photographer.

From Northern Europe (UK) comes Lucy Pinder who’s famous for her assets upstairs and even more popular now that she’s decided that everything upstairs is worth showing off.

A report featuring sun drenched celebrities who decided wearing skimpy outfits on public beaches can sometimes be good for their careers... or they just like to be normal and go outside. These normal people include a large collection of more recent bikini clad Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan rehabbing in cut-offs, a newer, deeper, more thoughtful Paris Hilton, the Affleckted One Jennifer Garner, sexy Eva Mendes, tennis warrior Serena Williams, pop cutie Hilary Duff amongst a few others.

Plenty of nude scenes for Heather Graham.

Madeleine Stowe in 'Stakeout (1987)'

So what do you do on this rare day of the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year of the century? Many are getting married because today is supposed to be an especially lucky day and we all know luck is what keeps a marriage together. For us, we thought we would show seven rare beauties of the fashion model industry. Rare in the sense that you don’t see girls this beautiful on any ole day. So here are seven rarities: Aleksandra Fudala of Poland, Fabiana Semprebom of Brazil, Kat Bespyatikh of Moldavia, Linda Vojtova of the Czech Republic, Marija Vujovic of Serbia, Nicole Trunfio and Pania Rose of Australia.

This just in: Researchers have found even more photos (in HQ) of Eva Longoria looking good in that white and newly discovered shiny-metal-ish bikini...

So sorry gents... but these pictures of the Aussie Price Is Right model Sarita Stella were meant to be included with the others in our article from a few days ago. So here they are...

Kate Beckinsale, Kate Capshaw, Kate Gartside, Kate Hudson, Kate Jenkin, Kate McClafferty, Kate Nauta, Kate Norby, Kate Vernon, Kate Walsh and Kate Winslet.

So we’re a little late with this 2007 calendar featuring British model and actress Kelly Brook. Isn’t this a little refreshing to have something come out late rather than something coming out so early (like these calendars so often do) that it’s stale before the year has even began? Or are we over rationalizing for our tardiness? Either way, it’s still good for another 5 months.

Stunning supermodel Marisa Miller was recently found to be photographed playing in the waves dawning a little bikini. Funny that. Here are a few others in some behind the scenes documentation of what they do to pay the bills.

Marisa Allasio, Marisa Coughlan, Marisa Tomei

What are the chances that a poor little girl with the unfortunate name of Kitty would grow up to be a bosomy nude pinup model? Either we’re idiots to think that Kitty is the name her parents actually gave her or her parents had her whole life planned out for her since the beginning. “Our child is going to grow up to have a career showing off her breasts. So we shall name her Kitty.” Said the Leas.

With high definition TV and now these high quality (HQ) images of celebrities on the ‘net, there’s almost nothing these celebrities can hide. It’s crazy to think that 10 years ago, us old folks (born before 1980) had to browse the internet on our 800x600 screens of resolution where recognizing a nipple from a freckle was nearly impossible at times. (What a sad story.) Now, these images can be as large as 5000 pixels across and spotting a sweat gland hole on a nipple can be done from 10 feet away. Here are some very high rez celebrity photos for those into sweat gland holes.

Patricia Arquette in 'Four Sided Triangle (1990) and 'The Lost Highway'

Megan Fox is so ridiculously beautiful that you hope that there’s substance behind that pretty exterior. Like her upcoming film, Transformers; you hope it’s not just eye candy that dilates your pupils and gets your heart pumping but actually has a cool, well thought-out and edgy story to balance it out and make one complete package. If we had to pick one to fulfill our hope on that little fantasy, our money is on Megan. We’re childhood fans of Transformers but its movie director has had a poor record of doing more that meeting the eye.

Seems no man is immune to making that unconscious glance at a full bouquet of breast on display. Even fellow ladies can’t help but take a gander when faced with such an obvious sign for attention. Of course, the etiquette is to make that glance quick. No lingering. Especially when attempting a conversation. Otherwise, you’re considered a disrespectful perv. Seems unfair at times to test a man that way. They often fail. Perhaps, men should turn the game around and start displaying some sack fold to see if the ladies could resist such an irresistible sight. I imagine just a lot of pointing and laughing and perhaps, a lawsuit or two.

Michelle Monaghan in 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)'

Claire Danes in 'Stage Beauty'